Have you ever felt this way? You know deep down that you are forcing yourself to do something that you weren’t quite made for. You look around and it seems that everyone else fits just fine. Maybe you smile and nod, knowing just enough about the circumstances to play along, but your gut is telling you that you probably could be doing something somewhere else that would just fit better.
I’m not talking about things that are necessarily bad or even the worst choice for you, just that uncomfortable-doesn’t-quite-fit feeling, but you are forcing yourself to continue. Maybe it’s a job that you have stayed in just a little too long or maybe it is a hobby that you feel obligated to continue because you spent all that money on supplies. It might even be that you just know there is something that you are supposed to be doing and haven’t tried yet.
Change can be hard and scary whether it is the choice to stop something old or begin something new. For myself, when I make the choice to stop an activity a little voice can start whispering that I am a failure. This unhelpful voice tells me all of the reasons I haven’t succeeded at whatever it is, even if I sincerely gave it my best effort or have sincerely decided to remove it from my life! I have something similar happen when I begin a new venture. An entire catalog of reasons I am going to fail pops up in my mind. I begin in my own strength to swat them like irritating flies. It usually doesn’t take long in either of these scenarios for me to exhaust my own efforts and remember to give all of my negative thoughts over to God.
On the other side of the wrestling with change there is amazing blessing. God uses change in our lives to grow us closer to Himself. When we follow His guidance in our lives into His plans for us we can experience the joy of living in just-the-right-fit. I have been in both places in my life. I spent too many years trying to hammer myself into the spot I thought God wanted me. Recently, I have had the joy of being in the me-shaped place He had planned all along. I pray that if you haven’t found this place in God’s family yet, that you will also be led by Him into a very uniquely designed you-shaped space.
“I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14
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