Alarming

Every.  Single.  Time.

I have tried everything: locking the door, leaving the door open and slipping in when no one is looking, threats, bribes.  Nothing works.  I have finally come to the conclusion that my children have rigged up an alarm system.

By this time I am sure you are wondering what on earth I am talking about.  It is a most basic human need: going to the bathroom.  I am guessing most of you mothers can relate, as soon as I sit down, a child bursts through my door.  I really have no other explanation than an alarm system in my toilet seat.  You may ask why I don’t simply lock the door.  Two reasons.  One, my children work on doorknobs until they pop the locks.  Two, they would just stand on the other side of the door and yell to me.  As I mentioned, I also tried sneaking in and leaving the door open.  Nope, someone was there immediately.  Lately when someone runs in I don’t even bother saying “Out!”  I just make a noise like someone stepped on a sheep, “Blaaah!”  It usually sends them back out the door quickly.

The other day I thought I had won a couple minutes.  I sat down and, nothing.  Thirty seconds later my daughter came running into the room out of breath, late for the alarm.

I hadn’t realized my nieces and nephews had rigged my sister’s bathroom.  I was over there a couple days ago and sure enough, from the other side of the door, “Auntie?  Auntie?  Can you hear me?”

As much as I love my children and enjoy being with them, it would be nice to be able to use the restroom in peace, by myself.  I suppose that day will come eventually.  I have been told I will even miss irritations like these when my children are all gone.  Right now that day seems a long way off.  However, time does go by quickly.  That is probably why we are told in the Bible to make the most of each day, guiding and training our children moment by moment.

So for now I will join in Paul’s prayer in Colossians 4:3-6, “And pray for us, too, that God may open a door, (hopefully not the bathroom door) for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ…Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.  Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; (even those outside your bathroom door) make the most of every opportunity, (even the irritating ones.)  Let your conversation be always full of grace…so that you may know how to answer everyone.”