During the height of the Covid quarantine, my younger kids would go a little stir-crazy because they were not allowed to go play with their friends. Their solution was to meet their friends down at the fence, each group of siblings “socially distanced” on their respective sides. They would have a great time, but it was unnatural for all of them.
People have always been amazed that despite the large size of our family, we do not have a very big house. Something we noticed very early on in parenting, is that children are natural herd-animals. The kids would always be in a little clump throughout the day. It really wasn’t until they were teenagers that they separated from the pack and even then they stay fairly physically close to each other. We really didn’t need a large house because they don’t spread out.
The funny thing was that it wasn’t just a sibling thing. I remember having their friends over when they were all still young and no matter how many kids it might end up being, they would move amoeba-like wherever and whatever they were doing!
I have observed this closeness among kids on up into their young twenties. They seem to innately know that they need each other, that there is comfort in togetherness. The sad thing is as we grow older we seem to lose this knowledge. Instead of staying close with others, we can begin erecting fences of our own to keep us safe. After all, by the time we are adults, most of us have experienced some kind of hurt that we don’t want to experience again. I am not talking about healthy boundaries. All of us, including children, need to have good boundaries in place. These are more like walled-off places in our hearts.
The problem with these kind of walls is that not only do they keep other people out, they also keep God out. We are essentially telling Him that these areas of our souls are too broken for even Him to enter into. This couldn’t be further from the truth. God is willing to come into all of our areas of hurt and to heal our hearts.
My children were so excited the day they were finally physically reunited with their friends. The fence was no longer a barrier between them. Now it was simply a passageway between their yards. I believe this is what God wants to do with our fences as well. He wants to use them as passageways to greater healing in our lives and also as ways to reach other people. They become stories of victory and encouragement to share with others.
“…with my God I can scale a wall.” Psalm 18:29b
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