Normally we don’t enjoy being last. Especially us Americans. We have been taught from birth that there is no other place than first, and that second place is just the first loser. However, I have found something recently that I do like being last to. There is a stretch of road construction on a highway I drive several times a week. This is a major project which involves fairly long traffic delays. I am very happy to come up to the traffic stop last, just as traffic is being allowed to start proceeding!
Being motivated to succeed is not necessarily a bad thing, we just take it to extremes many times in our culture. We also, as believers in Jesus, have to be very careful not to measure our relationship with Him the same way the world would. We can very easily fall into the thinking that we need to be “first” in His eyes by doing a lot for Him. If we volunteer to teach Sunday school, sing at church, give to a lot of causes, follow all the “rules,” then we will be worthy to be in a relationship with Him.
Back in Jesus’ day there were people with the same mindset. They believed that if they followed all of the law, or “rules,” they would be first in the kingdom of heaven. In the book of Matthew in the Bible, Jesus told them it didn’t work that way. He explained that God’s economy is the exact opposite of our human one. In fact, He flat out said that the first will be last, and the last will be first. This was revolutionary to the people of His day and to us too. We cannot work our way into heaven and we cannot buy our way in, salvation is a free gift of grace.
This is also pretty great news for some of us who never do feel as if we are first, who maybe even struggle to feel worthy of a savior. Jesus meets us right where we are at and holds out forgiveness, hope and love.
So while I may still enjoy being first into the Starbucks drive-through, and last in the line of traffic, I am very happy that I do not need to worry whether I am first or last in God’s kingdom. Because as long as I have received salvation through Jesus, I am right where I belong.
“But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” Matthew 19:30
Do you tend to fall into the thinking that everything depends on you?
I can’t say that I hope you have an opportunity to see God work in this way in your life, because as the examples show, we usually don’t like the way the opportunities are presented! We live in a world where these times are unavoidable though, so when the curtain is pulled back on an illusion you have been depending on, remember it is just that, an illusion, and underneath is the rock solid love of God.
The other day I was late getting out of the house, or so I thought. As I went out the door I was in fact, right on time to catch two of my children with arm loads of glass sheets they had taken out of the louvered windows of an old travel trailer we have. Their intention was to try to wedge it in the windows of a little cabin they had constructed. In my mother imagination all I could see was broken shards of glass everywhere and children sliced to ribbons. I had them immediately return the glass to the trailer and assured them we would come up with a safer alternative.
The part of the whole incident that was reassuring to me, is that God is completely in control, even, and probably most especially when, I feel out of control. That day I had felt that my morning had gone “wrong,” and I was feeling a lot of guilt over being late. In our hurry culture, full of schedules, we can mistakenly get the idea that we are in control of our days. Usually we are brought up short in this belief by interruptions, some as mild as traffic and some much more serious.
So the next time I think I am running late, or I get caught in traffic, I am going to say no to the instant anxiety that wells up inside me. Instead I am going to remind myself of all the times that my Heavenly Father has had perfect timing in my life and try to rest in Him.
Are you a fan of failure? Not too many people are, although some people do use failure as a reason to stop trying and stand still. Granted, failure can be paralyzing. There is another option though, we can choose to fall forward. That way even though we have fallen, at least we have gained some ground!
This is such a crazy concept to me since I have been terrified of failure for most of my life. I have actually not felt free to make a mistake for fear of the judgment of those around me. The thing is, it is human to make mistakes and mistakes are also an opportunity for God to shine His grace into our lives. In a way, by trying so hard not to fail, I was actually shutting grace out of my life.
God has been showing me that making mistakes is proof that I am trying, that I am alive and engaged in my world. Life is messy. There is just no way to navigate it all without an error now and then.
When we do fall, God, in grace, picks us up, dusts us off and tells us it’s okay to try again. He never leaves us lying there. (Although on occasion I have chosen to lie there and wallow in self-pity for a little while!)
I think falling forward is similar to leaning in to Jesus when things get hard. Sometimes I find myself wanting to pull away when life gets difficult, as though it were Jesus’ fault. And all the time He is waiting to enfold me in His arms and tell me it will be okay.
Once again it is amazing how physical aspects of life mirror inner, emotional aspects. I have done this very thing emotionally, many times throughout my life. I stuff a bunch of hurts into a little cupboard of my heart. A lot of times I don’t even really know what’s in there, but I just keep pushing that door closed. It is not always fear that keeps me from looking at these things. The busyness of life, laziness, tiredness can all keep me paralyzed. Also, as with my kitchen cupboard, I know things will get messy before they get better!
After I finally clean out a cupboard or closet I have such a feeling of accomplishment. I no longer avoid opening the door, instead I get happy when I need to get an item out of the newly organized space. When I make it through one of God’s cleaning sprees, I feel the same way. The issue I had stuffed way down deep is no longer as painful or scary. I feel a new sense of freedom in that area of my life.
I pray that you and I will continue to be brave and allow God to keep showing us areas of ourselves that He wants to heal and that when we come out on the other side we will have a deeper understanding of God’s grace.
Warriors are proud of their scars. They love to tell the stories of each of the battles the scars represent: “This one was when we were surrounded and I fought my way through; my arm was half-off, but I made it! Oh, this one here? That was when it looked like all hope was lost, but we rallied and won.” Scars tell a story of battle and victory.
The Bible tells us we are in a spiritual battle all the time, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12 The strange thing though, is that we as followers of Christ are not proud of our scars. We try to hide or minimize them. Really they are marks that we have overcome by the power of Jesus and have lived to tell about it!
I think we see our scars as ugly, painful and useless. We can also get a mistaken idea that when we become followers of Jesus that those scars should just disappear. One day that will be true, when we get to heaven our scars will be gone. However, here on Earth they are still very much of use. For ourselves the marks we carry can be reminders to not go back to behaviors etc. that caused our hurt in the first place. For others we meet who are in similar battles to what we have gone through, our scars can be encouragement that we made it through and are still alive to tell the story.