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I have to admit, there are times when I feel like the only crazy mom out there.  Even just writing that, a little voice in my head says, “Yeah you are!”  I’m the only one who yells at their kids, tells them to do a chore instead of giving them a hug, and loses her mind over an unwashed counter.  I know all the other moms are happily doing craft projects with their kids and reading them books.  They don’t ever feel like running away, and they enjoy every minute with their children.

When I start feeling this way, it is usually because it has been too long since I talked to another mother.  One of the things that happens though, is that the longer I am isolated from my friends the harder it becomes to reach out to anyone, and the easier it is to feel crazy.  When I get a chance to have a conversation with someone else who has either gone before me in the kid-raising journey, or is alongside me, I realize it is not just me.  This child rearing thing is HARD, and we need each other!

We moms put ourselves last.  We are too busy to get together for coffee, or a movie, or sometimes just a phone conversation.  My family has a lot going on and even when I have the best intention of making time for being with friends, things can come up.  We need to fight for that time though, and try to see it as helping our families in the long run.  If we can get together and share life: encourage each other through the tough times, pass a tissue when it’s really hard, laugh together about our toddlers, and celebrate when something goes right, we will be saner and stronger for our families.

I also need to be honest when a friend asks me how I’m doing.  It is easy to just say,”fine!” with a happy face mask pasted on my face, but if it is a real friend truly caring about me I need to answer with the truth.  More often than not when I give a real answer it opens up an honest conversation about life and we end up encouraging each other.

The bottom line is, we need each other.  And if it turns out we are all crazy, at least we can be crazy together!

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  Ecclesiastes 4:12

During this time of events and activities being canceled, I have realized how much these markers shape the time and seasons of life. I was feeling a little sad again about how many things we have been missing this spring and summer that would have been a normal part of life in the past. But then I had another thought.

In the Bible God promises that as long as the earth remains, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter will never stop. So I realized that even though the activities during these seasons have stopped, the seasons themselves remain. The sun is still shining hot this summer. The leaves will still turn beautiful colors this autumn. There will still be a briskness to the air and hot cups of tea to enjoy.

God also talks about time in the Bible. In Ecclesiastes, it says that there is a season and a time for every purpose. One of the specific activities the section addresses is there being a time for hugging and a time to not hug. For those of us ‘huggers,’ this time of not hugging is hard, but it won’t last forever.

It is somewhat of a dichotomy, that during this unusual time in history that we get to make some choices as to what kind of a time it is. Ecclesiastes chapter 3 has a whole list of pairs of opposing types of times. Some of them are things we need to choose from every day. Is this a time to speak or a time to be silent? Is this a time to keep or a time to throw away? Is this a time to love or a time to hate???

As we enjoy the consistency of the seasons of nature and try to keep up with our ever changing culture, I would offer this idea: that it is a great time for peace to be born; time to plant seeds of change; time to heal broken hearts; time to build each other up; time that we learn to laugh at ourselves; time to learn to dance with joy; time to gather as the Living Stones of the church; time to embrace truth; time to search for unity; time to keep that which is good; time to mend what has been destroyed; a time to speak kindly; a time to love; and a time for peace.

“As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night shall never cease.” Genesis 8:22

“To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to keep from embracing, a time to search and a time to count as lost, a time to keep and a time to discard, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I wrote that title and it still gives me the creeps! The problem is that it happened to me.

I was peacefully sleeping. My alarm clock went off and so I began to make my bed…but, right in between my pillows, very close to where my head had just been, was a giant wolf spider! Needless to say, that particular spider is no longer with us.

My issue is that there are still other spiders lurking. These kind are not of the arachnid family. These are often in the form of life events, circumstances or even people, that want to steal my joy and peace.

We hear a lot about resting in God’s arms or abiding in His love. I love the word pictures in the Bible about finding shelter under His wings, or Him hiding us in the cleft of a rock. I always understood those verses to mean that God would remove us from the uncomfortable positions we find ourselves in or take the “bad” things out of our lives in order to give us peace.

I am learning that this is not always the case. In Psalm 23, it mentions our Shepherd preparing a table before us actually in the presence of our enemies. (I know there is also some cultural significance to that as well.) To me this is very like sleeping with spiders. Instead of removing those things, God is with me in those circumstances, comforting me, teaching me, and yes, protecting me! I believe now that God wants to give us an even deeper, more transcendent peace. The kind that can rest in His arms no matter what is lurking near us.

“You prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies.” Psalm 23:5a NLT

I’m sure you have all heard the expression, “hopping mad,” but at my house, my little seven-year-old guy has got “hopping happy” down to an art!

The thing I admire most about his expression of joy, is that it doesn’t take much to bring on the hopping. We are going to read a book together? Hop, hop, hop. Biscuits with dinner? We get to play with play-doh? Another cucumber from our garden? And off he goes bounce, bouncing away.

As an adult and parent, I don’t generally do too much jumping with joy myself. Unfortunately I have a tendency to let the cares in my life weigh me down too much to feel light enough to hop. However, as a follower of Jesus, this is not the way I have to live.

Jesus’ first recorded sermon, in fact, is all about how to be blessed, or happy. In what we call the Beatitudes, He lists all kinds of ways we can truly be hoppin’ happy. The tricky thing is when we look at His list, some of the circumstances do not immediately look “happy” to us. Wait a minute, how can I be happy when I mourn? Also, most people do not want to be counted among the meek or poor in spirit. But when we look deeper and begin to really understand how God’s ways work, we can see how the happiness unfolds.

A therapist friend of mine was recently explaining to me how in order to truly heal from past hurts, it is crucial that people allow themselves to really grieve them. She said if we do not let ourselves get to the yucky, deep down pain, it can be like a physical wound that just heals over but festers underneath. So all of a sudden, “Happy are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” began to make sense to me.

Honestly, I struggle with the idea that God might actually want me to be happy. I was brought up with the teaching that He didn’t necessarily want happiness for me, but rather joy. And my understanding of the kind of joy those teaching me meant, was a grit-your-teeth and hang onto God’s teachings by your fingernails, but you are going to be thankful for your circumstances no matter what! Definitely not a lot of hopping in that teaching.

The closer I have walked with God though, the more understanding I have of the happiness He wants me to have in Him. He does not want me hanging on by sheer grit. He wants me to rest in Him, in fact, to delight in Him! I have walked through some excruciatingly difficult things in my life, but I am learning more and more how to give my burdens to God, even to the point that every now and then I feel a little hop in my step!

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Matthew 5:6

Most of my readers know that I do not normally talk about current events in this blog. Throughout all of the craziness due to shelter-in-place and other very upsetting things happening in the world, I have tried to keep this as a tiny respite from the storm, a place of grace and encouragement. However, today I am going to veer from my norm a little and talk about something that I have been experiencing and I suspect quite a few of you are experiencing as well.

For the past couple weeks I have had a heavy weariness. I had finally been feeling some hope that we were moving past the worst of the pandemic in our country as things began to open up again. And then the numbers of people getting sick began to rise. I do not want in any way to mitigate the suffering of those who are ill and fighting for their lives or those grieving the loss of loved ones who lost that fight, but what I want to address is the feeling that the rest of us have of mourning on the inside.

We have heard the term, “new normal,” being thrown around quite a lot, but I don’t exactly grasp what that means. I know for me it has made me feel pressured to adjust quickly to the major changes happening daily, sometimes hourly, without being able to stop and grieve. Being isolated from friends and loved ones, without even being able to give or receive a hug, has forced this grief inward and made me feel alone.

Especially as a parent trying to put on a brave face for my kids, trying to make things better as event after event is canceled for them, has caused me to not show my own disappointment. I am trying to talk with my kids and listen to their feelings, but as any of you that are locked in your house with kids know, there is not much reciprocity from children!

My comfort in this unprecedented time has been the same Comforter who has seen me through countless other grieving times in my life. I have been pouring out my heart to the Holy Spirit in a way that maybe I haven’t done before. As I grieve all of the things happening in our nation, our world and even my own family, He has been faithful as always to hold my weary heart and carry me through. It is not easy, but I feel like God is drawing me into an even deeper relationship with Himself and He has been revealing His word to me in a new way.

So for any of you that are also feeling like you are mourning on the inside while having to scramble to keep up with changes flying at you constantly, I would like to give you some verses that have been very comforting to me lately. Also to encourage you that your Heavenly Father knows all things and sees you right where you are, even if you are staying at home with children! He is a whispered prayer away, even if that prayer is simply the word, “help.”

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” Psalm 119:50

“And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” Romans 5:1-5

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 62:5-6

“I know Whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day.” II Timothy 1:12