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Evidently I need coffee before I can have my coffee.

This morning I had managed to stagger to the kitchen, pour a nice big cup…and then spill it all over the counter and the floor. To my credit, and I have to admit, surprise, I did not get a drop on myself. After cleaning up the giant mess and pouring a new cup I came to the conclusion that maybe I need to somehow wake up and drink some coffee through a straw before even climbing out of bed!

In all seriousness though, there is something even more important than coffee in the morning and that is making time to be with Jesus. I have written before about starting my day with coffee and quiet time. This morning though, I began to think a little deeper about, “first Jesus.”

I realized this shouldn’t just apply to my mornings. In reality, I would be far better off if everything in my life came through this filter. What if instead of jumping straight to worry, I first asked Jesus what He thought about a situation? What if instead of being so quick to speak or answer I took a second to ask Jesus what He would say? How would Jesus respond to an interruption by a child?

Taking this even further, what if I included Jesus first in all my good times too. What if Jesus was the very first person I turned to when I saw a beautiful flower, read an uplifting verse, had someone give me a compliment?

I am a people person by nature and I love to share things with my friends and family. I am also a talker who naturally works out thoughts and feelings out loud with those same very patient friends and family! However, I still need to make sure that Jesus is still my number one go-to for everything.

So while drinking hot coffee through a straw first thing in the morning will probably not be a reality for me anytime soon, I can still begin my day with saying, “Good morning Jesus, what shall we do today?”

“I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who remains in Me, and I in him, will bear much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

As a parent, I find myself using a wide variety of events as object lessons for my children. Take the huge container of cheese puffs for instance. They were a wonderful way to illustrate Proverbs 25:16 to my son: If you find honey, (or cheese puffs) eat just what you need, (although does anyone really need cheese puffs?) lest you have too much and vomit it up, (all over the bathroom!) Needless to say this particular son is much more moderate in his consumption of treats!

As inconvenient, or messy as these lessons are for me, I am so grateful that my children are learning some of them while they are still at home. I do find myself asking God for strength and patience on a regular basis though.

Even though (hopefully) most of us learned some of the basic lessons while young: moderation, don’t steal, tell the truth, be kind; none of us is perfect and life is an ongoing learning process. I am so glad that God is a loving Father who doesn’t just leave us on our own to struggle and try to figure things out. He gave us an instruction manual full of guidance and wisdom.

In the Bible we meet all kinds of imperfect people going through God’s object lessons. Just as sometimes I want to force my children to make the right decision, sometimes I want to yell to someone in the Bible, “Stop! This is going to end badly!” However, God never allows the bad ending to be the true end, His perfect story always continues.

I am so thankful that this is still the case today. I have definitely not always made the wisest choices, but God in His mercy has still used them all for good, not that I have seen all the outcomes yet, but I am believing His promise. Knowing how my Heavenly Father has so lovingly and gently parented me helps me to have more grace for my own children, even after too many cheese puffs!

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” Proverbs 1:7

I usually begin my day by having a quiet time. I have a cup of coffee and settle in with some devotional books, a journal and my Bible. However, I use the term “quiet” time rather loosely. In reality, with seven children still at home, it is more like a parade.

I can almost set my watch to the interruptions, it is about every 4-5 minutes. Most of the children simply come in, ask a question and then leave, but the baby of the family has me, (and everyone else) wrapped around her finger. She comes in looking all cute and cuddly and worms her way onto my lap. She is fairly quiet, so I am usually able to continue reading. She does have a self-appointed job though. When I get to my prayer journal, she holds my heart.

One of my Bible study leaders made each of us a prayer bookmark with all of our names on it so we would remember to keep each other in daily prayer. She decorated it with a puffy heart sticker. To a five year-old this is just wonderful. She loves to look at all the names on the list and feel the smooth, raised sticker. Every morning she invariably asks to hold my heart.

She of course does not know how true that statement is. As much as it is my job as a mother to protect, nurture and guide my children’s hearts, each one of them in their own unique way, holds mine.

This is the beautiful and sometimes painful part of being a parent. We literally give a piece of ourselves to our children and then trust that God will guide, protect and lead them. First to Himself and then to whatever they are called to do in their lives.

I am so thankful that I can trust God with my children’s hearts and also with my own. He is the perfect parent and the best holder of all of our hearts.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

(Come and get me Disney!) But seriously, as we embark on a brand new year, we need brand new hope. Over this past year I have personally learned a lot about hope. For instance, did you know there are different types of hope?

In our culture and language we use the word hope rather casually. I hope it doesn’t rain, I hope my team wins, etc. In this way hope is more like fate or a fortune in a fortune cookie…it may or may not come true. This was my understanding of hope for a long time, a strong desire for a certain outcome but with no assurance of results. And then I got to a place in life where I didn’t even feel that. I found myself as close to hopelessness as I had ever been. That is when I learned that hope is much, much more than I had ever realized.

God gently led me to how hope is defined and used in the Bible. The first meaning He showed me blew me away. It is defined as, “Hope, not in the sense of an optimistic outlook, (which was good because I had lost all sense of optimism) or wishful thinking without any foundation, but in the sense of confident expectation based on solid certainty.”* This type of hope can be solid because it is not based on circumstances, or my feelings about them, but on the promises God gives me in the Bible. Hope like this covers all kinds of fears and worries. If I am worried about finances I can read Matthew 6:31-34 where Jesus is assuring the people that God knows our needs and will provide for them. If I am afraid I see in II Timothy that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. When I worry about my children I can turn to the book of Isaiah and find that all my children will be taught of God and great will be their peace. (Isaiah 54:13)

There is another type of hope that the Bible talks about as well. This is the definition that I think we all need to cling to as we walk into this new year: “Expectation; something yearned for and anticipated eagerly; something for which one waits. To look hopefully in a particular direction.”* I believe every one of us has been looking in the direction of a new year, hoping for change.

So if we put these two definitions of hope together, we can find ourselves eagerly and confidently entering this new year. We can have the expectation that our God will provide everything we need. He will fulfill all His promises to us and fill us once again with a new hope.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

*These definitions are from the Strong’s concordance. I did not copy them out exactly. They are numbers 1680 and 8615 respectively if you would like to look them up.

I know those Israelites get a bad rap sometimes, wandering around in the desert, complaining, disobeying etc. There have been several times as I read their story that I think, “The promise land is right there! How on earth are you managing to miss it? God has also provided for you so many times, why are you still doubting Him?”

They had seen Him deliver them from Egypt, (loaded down with their neighbors’ gold no less) part the Red Sea and drown their pursuers. They even had the visible evidence that He was with them in the form of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. But still, when faced with hunger, they doubted.

God miraculously provided again with bread from Heaven. This “manna” would come down during the night each night and cover the ground. They could gather it in the morning for the day’s food and then it would dissolve in the sun. God gave specific instructions that they were to only gather enough for the day and they were not to try to store any for the next, except when the next day was the Sabbath. Sounds straight-forward enough: all they had to do was trust God and He would feed them.

What is it about us humans that finds simple trust and obedience so difficult? Of course, some of the Israelites had to disobey. Whether they thought it would be easier to gather two days worth of food at once or whether they just couldn’t quite trust that the manna would be there again in the morning, there were some that gathered too much. The next day they found the consequences of their action: wormy manna.

I understand this all too well. I am a “squirrel” by nature. I like to keep my cupboards stocked. If my freezer is not full, I get nervous. Unfortunately, this is not just an innocent habit of mine. It stems from an innate distrust in the goodness and provision of God. Just like those Israelites missing the point over and over, God has miraculously provided for me and my family over and over–and still I worry!

I am still working towards complete trust and faith in God. I do not want to end up with wormy manna that I have tried to provide for myself. God wants us to trust in His amazing abundance and goodness. He has all the riches of Heaven at His disposal and He loves to give them to His children. As we celebrate Thanksgiving this next week, I am going to try to focus on the lavishness of His love for me. I want to be truly thankful and grateful for all He has provided for me and learn to trust and accept that He will continue to do so.

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

P.S. The pictures of the real worms were too gross so I went with gummy worms!

The past ten days have been quite the roller coaster. Don’t panic, I am not going to get political! However, no matter what your political leaning or beliefs, I think we can all agree we have seen some bad things happen. Even for myself, although I am not passionate about politics, I frequently end up in discussions about the current events of our nation. It also seems as though no matter how hard we all try, the conversation always swings back around to the pandemic as well. Nobody is going to deny that in many ways 2020 has been a bad year.

With that being said, things are not all bad. People have still gotten married this year, babies have been born, and we have figured out how to keep living. In the Bible, God promises that He works all things together for the good of those who love Him, even all the things we have been through this year! Personally, I have been able to look back over this year and see God’s gracious hand preserving me and my family when I was sure we were going to be overcome by circumstances I perceived as bad.

And now the beautiful. Yes, even in 2020 there are still beautiful things. I find the resiliency that God designed each of us with to be very beautiful. So many people have found ways to reinvent their lives and even be creative within the new parameters we have had to live in. We have learned to connect in new ways, using technology as a tool. People have figured out different ways to celebrate, encourage and strengthen one another. The tenacious human spirit that God placed inside each one of us has continued to rise to the occasion.

So while the year is not yet over and I am sure there are more challenges to be faced, I have hope. God is a good God who promises that He has a future and a hope for each one of us. He will comfort us and guide us and lead us. We just need to trust Him through the good, the bad and into the beautiful.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11