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There are so many nice, sentimental sayings about seeing the world through the eyes of a child.  I am POSITIVE that the people who created those sayings did not have eight children.  Yes, it is great that children look at the world with a sense of inquisitiveness, however when you get to be the one answering the same question eight times, it sometimes doesn’t seem that great.

We live in a rural area, so not all of my children go to what we call “town” very frequently.  I have mentioned before how I try to take each of my children by themselves to have one-on-one time with me whenever I get the opportunity.  This means eight chances for someone to see something for the first time and eight chances for me to practice patience.

When I do put aside my impatience, and actually take the time to listen to all of their questions, it is really interesting to discover all the things I simply have stopped seeing.  One of my sons asked me about these striped signs on the side of the road recently and I was a little startled to realize that I had completely forgotten what they meant because I was just so used to seeing them!

I know it is impossible to live in our world and see everything, just the advertising alone would drive us crazy.  However, I also don’t want to become jaded, especially to things that really matter.  I pray that I could keep the eyes of my heart open to the wonderful truth and beauty that God wants to show me.  I want to be able to see the hurting people and be able to love them.  I want to really see my children and the wonderful people they are growing into.

I pray all these things for you too, my friends.  I pray for open eyes and open hearts that you might truly see your world around you and all the people in it.  I pray that your hearts will not become jaded, but instead will be soft.  “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.”  Ephesians 1:18

I know what I am going to do when I am done raising my kids.  I am going to become a detective or work for the FBI in the behavioral analysis unit.  I am being trained right now, honing my detective skills with my children.  They are extremely helpful, supplying me with mysteries to solve in abundance.

Like, “The Mystery of the Potato Chip Under the Clean Towels in My Bathroom.”  Or, “The Mystery of The Missing Chocolate Chips.”  Now honestly, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell someone was a psychotic killer, but I would know by the way their eye twitched that they didn’t hang up their bath towel that morning!

In reality, all mothers have to be detectives.  From trying to figure out who did what, to locating all kinds of missing items.  One of our biggest jobs though, is detecting the potential in our kids.  Looking past tantrums or attitudes to what is underneath, just waiting to bloom.

I have to detect whether someone’s attitude is due to lack of sleep, hunger, hormones or hurt feelings.  Then when I think I know the cause I have to ask careful questions to get to the root.  When the children are young the remedy is usually easier, a snack or a nap can work wonders.  Now that half of my children are in the turbulent time of pre-teen and teen years, the remedies can be more challenging.  I find myself doing a lot more listening and empathizing.  This is a rewarding time as well though, because I am beginning to see them coming into their own as people.

I know it can be challenging day after day to look beyond the fits or the disobedience and see what is underneath.  Hang in there, the rewards will come.  I cannot guarantee that every mystery will be solved, (the potato chip thing is still baffling me!) but I can guarantee that it is worth our time to really look inside our children, to detect the people just waiting to be found.

“The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  I Samuel 16:7

I published this post a few summers ago, but it is still a lesson I need to learn! Can you relate?

So having successfully dropped all my older children off at Vacation Bible School for the morning, I thought it would be a great chance to take my two year old to the lake.  We made it to the water’s edge when suddenly she realized we had left her all-important “ga-ga,” (sippy cup) in the van.  I assured her I could go get it.  She was very sure she could go get it.  I told her it was too hard for her and of course I got the two year old, “Why?”  I reminded her she couldn’t open the big door.  I told her all she needed to do was to wait for me, hold still, I would go open the door and get what she needed.

By this point, of course, I was laughing at myself.  How many countless times had I had this conversation with God:  “God, I need something.”  I’ll take care of it, you just wait on me and be still.  “I can do it myself, if only I could just pry this door open!”

As I went back to our van I could see her start to follow me, still sure that I needed supervising or reminding.  The path was too rough for her little feet so she was soon just standing there stuck halfway between the lake and the van.  This too was familiar to me.  Instead of relaxing at the lake or wherever God has asked me to wait, I supervise Him in my prayers or try to get to where I want to go on my own.  Of course I end up stuck on the path.

After I retrieved the sippy cup and scooped my girl up in my arms, I thought about how much nicer just sitting by the lake waiting for God would be, instead of continuing to try to find my way on my own.  Maybe some day I’ll get there, but I’m so glad God continues to scoop me up and carry me on the path I should go.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

You may wonder what life is like with eight children.

It is like one unending, insane game of “Twenty Questions” mixed with the game, “Telephone.”  For example, child “A” might say, “I wonder if ice would float in water in space?”  Child “B” says, “Everything is floating in space.”  So far, so good.  But then child “C” enters the conversation.  “There’s ice floating in space?”  This is when child “D” walks into the room and demands, “I want ice in my drink too!”  It’s all downhill from there as my youngest starts crying that she doesn’t have any ice in her cup.  While I am trying to get ice for her, child “B” informs me that snow burns, (because of course he has tried this) and child “A” starts to move toward the ice and matches.  This is usually when I somewhat lose it and call for quiet which lasts exactly 34 seconds before someone starts the game up again!

This all might sound humorous, but remember, we play this game for approximately 12 hours a day.  The thing is, I don’t think this is something only my children do.  I think we end up doing this to God.  I know I can start questioning things like His provision, His goodness, or if He has really given me all I need in the way of patience and strength for the day.  Sometimes prayer can become more like twenty questions without a pause to be still and hear an answer.  Also, just like in the game, “Telephone,” where the message gets hopelessly jumbled, I can get confused, listening to all the wrong sources, trying so hard to figure out what God is doing in my life.

For now I am still the one with all the answers and the direction for my children.  Soon enough they will have to learn to hear God themselves and discern His will for their lives.  My requirement of them right now is the same one God has for us: be still and listen.  It’s amazing how clear things become when we make time for these two disciplines.  I may not always get a direct answer from God, but I do get the peace of His presence and the assurance that He has everything in His control.  Which is such a relief because I am still trying to figure out how snow burns!

“Be still and know that I am God.”  Psalm 46:10

“Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.”  Proverbs 1:5

I have often wondered why it seems that God enjoys making what to me could be very short stories long.

Take for instance the fall of man. That could have been wrapped up by generation three. Adam and Eve sin, get kicked out of the garden, have kids, daughter conceives Messiah, Cain kills Him instead of Abel, Messiah rises from the dead, world redeemed, the end!

I am probably skating on very thin theological ice here, but you get my point. I had the privilege of doing a deep dive into Genesis this last year and then continuing some study into certain women’s lives in the Bible. The thing that struck me over and over was how messy and extremely human all of the people’s lives in the Bible were. I think sometimes people think that everyone in the Bible was perfect and it is just a boring book of laws and thou-shalt-nots. Believe me, no soap opera has more drama than the Bible!

The characters take twists and turns that even today are shocking in nature. And just when you think one of them is actually going to do something straightforward like obey God, they go so far off path that only a Holy redeeming God could, and did, bring them back. I have this visual image of their time lines being like a straight line that then veers up into a tangled spaghetti-like knot and then moves forward again.

I have a daughter that likes to use this method of relating stories. She comes up to me, usually when I am obviously busy and begins talking at me…quietly. It takes me a minute or two before I even realize she is there and by then she is well into her v–e–r–y long story about what she had for breakfast! I try to tune in and catch the heart behind her tale. I want her to know that what she has to say is valuable to me.

The same is true about God’s word. He wrote it to us for a purpose. One of my favorite purposes is so we could get to know His heart towards us. And what I see in the Bible is amazing patience for very messy people. People that in so many ways remind me of my own bunny trails and straying from the best path. He showed such mercy and grace and chance after chance for the people in the Bible and I know He still does the same for us today.

I can get impatient in my own life, waiting for what seems a very long time to find out how part of my story ends. I find myself asking God for an answer now, for a shortening of a growing process. He gently reminds me that His timing is perfect and His story-writing is for the best. And so, I nestle down in my Father’s arms, like my children at story time, and read again His short story of, “I love you,” made long in the Bible.

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promises, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” II Peter 3:8-9

At my house this is not a euphemism.  I scream this all day long in the summer months.  It is not because the air conditioner is on, it is because I HATE flies.  We live in the country, therefore we seem to have more of these pests than usual. 

One of the first things my children toddled around with was a fly swatter, trying to eliminate the enemy.  Sometimes, when there are just too many flies for me to handle, (more than one) I will put out a bounty, 5¢ per fly.  I do provide quite a bit of entertainment for my children all summer, chasing after the buzzing irritants myself.  I am somewhat surprised that none of my kids has ever bought me one of those electric fly swatters, the ones that zap them in mid-air, but then again my children are intelligent.

Just as I am vigilant about keeping the doors closed to flies, I am also as concerned about what else might zip its way into my home.  I have to constantly be on the lookout for evil that loves to come in when a door is left open.  I am not only talking about blatant evil either, sometimes the door is opened simply by my bad attitude.  Pretty soon all kinds of nasty things are flying around: hurtful words, ugly looks, unkind actions.

I have found the quickest way to squash that kind of infestation is with an apology for my hasty words.  If I can calm myself down, fairly soon things are back to normal.  Well, as normal as things ever are in a house with eight children and a mother running through waving a fly swatter!

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.”  I Peter 1:13