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My husband and I were blessed recently to have a meal at an upscale restaurant on the shore of beautiful Lake Tahoe. I admit that I thought twice about what I would wear and it may have crossed my mind to wonder whether I would fit in at such a place. I figured most of the people there would be worth far more than we are. However, I was not prepared to see a princess!

I first spotted her on the dining terrace. She was easy to notice in her glimmering princess dress. Her entourage were dressed quite casually by comparison. She seemed to be enjoying her meal immensely, but she soon disappeared. She reappeared below the terrace, headed for the water. She wisely held up her dress before wading in, squealing at the cold water as all four year old princesses do.

I couldn’t help but admire how she brightened everyone’s day, just by being herself. I do not know if she had agonized over her outfit as I had done, but my suspicion is that she had simply wanted to look pretty and wore her favorite dress. I know for sure that she did not worry about what anyone else thought of her as she enjoyed her day. She was able to blissfully be herself, not worried in the slightest about who might be around her. She definitely had not worried about her worth in comparison with the other diners.

My friend and I have talked about this several times, about how lovely it would be to get up in the morning, put on our favorite princess dress and blissfully go about our day not worrying about whether we are fitting in or getting it all “right”. It is too easy to feel constrained by our culture or even by our own expectations of ourselves.

The truth is that God made each one of us special and unique. He designed us to add something to the world that no other human in history could do. And, He delights in us as we do it! Our worth is found in Him, not in our status or bank account. Instead of spending any more time worrying about how others perceive me or if I am pleasing the right people, I want to spend more time talking with Him and finding out His plan for me. I want to delight in His love for me and twirl through my days knowing that I am His princess and that is all that matters!

“She is worth far more than rubies.” Proverbs 31:10b

My children are extremely adept at cleaning a kitchen without actually cleaning it. They will assure me that they did a good job and that all the dishes have been washed and yet, when I go to check I inevitably find dishes all over the kitchen.

Now the trick is, these dishes are not sitting in the middle of the counter or in the sink. They are cleverly pushed into corners or left on the back of the stove or camouflaged next to the napkin holder on the table. By the time I go around gathering the “hidden” dishes, there is another sink-full to wash.

I am usually met with what appears to be genuine dismay on the part of the dish washer who insists that they thoroughly checked the kitchen. I suppose they are implying that I magically caused these dishes to appear out of thin air. Let’s be honest, if I had those kind of powers I am sure I would not use them to create dirty dishes!

As I was on another of these dish gathering missions, it got me to thinking about how I too tend to push unwanted things to the corners of my life. Just like my kids, I don’t exactly hide these issues, but I am not overly anxious to confront them either. It usually takes God pulling these issues from the corners and telling me it is time to take a good look at them to get me to work on them.

It is weird, but once I deal with these not-so-hidden issues, I feel better. Much better in fact, than when I was putting energy into keeping them at bay. The same principle I try to teach my kids about being thorough in the kitchen works in my personal life too. It is much easier to deal with something as soon as possible than it is to let it molder in the corners! This is probably what Jesus was trying to convey when He taught about truth. There is cleansing power in allowing truth to shine into even the dark corners of our souls. Just as I want my whole kitchen to be clean, God want our whole lives to be healed and transformed.

“Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'” John 8:31-32

As my youngest staggered into my room the other morning and assumed her usual snuggle position on my lap, I began thinking about all the little traditions that make a family, a family. There are so many little things that tie us together, from the way my daughter has always laid a certain direction for her snuggles, to where each of us sits at the dinner table.

When we talk about family traditions, most of us think about how our family celebrates holidays and other special days of the year. While those are nice, they are not really what holds us together day to day. It is the much smaller things, just like all the little knots holding a tied-quilt together.

Even though people in a family may share a similar history or genetics, they usually have very different personalities. Just as a quilt would be boring with only one color of fabric, a family would be boring if everyone was the same. God designs each of our families with the personalities He wants in them. Some of us may be solid color quilt blocks and some of us like the quilt above, may be zebra striped! When we are bonded together with all of our unique gifts and quirks, we turn into something more than we can be on our own.

It is the same with our larger family of brothers and sisters in Christ. We are all unique and special on our own, but when we become unified through the ties of love that Jesus taught, we become so much more. This summer my church has been going through the book of Colossians. In chapter three, Paul tells us specifically how to live together as the family of God. He uses the image of our bodies instead of a quilt, but the idea is the same. We have one body, but many different members. In verses twelve through seventeen, he lists out all of the “ties” that can bind us together in unity. He also says to put on love over all of these. Using the image of the quilt again, I picture the love that he is talking about as the warmth that a well-made quilt provides.

I am grateful for all the little ways my family is tied together from the quirky: we have to use the same spoon to stir the cheese into the macaroni noodles every time; to the sweet: my younger children sound like the Waltons going to bed. I pray that as the larger family of God, we can continue to work toward that bond of unity by tying ourselves together with all the virtues listed in Colossians and covering them all over with love.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:12-14

With so many people in our house, we have to label cups with each person’s name, otherwise we could dirty an untold number of cups every single day. Recently, my youngest daughter was lining everyone’s cup up in order on the counter. She was very proud of herself and wanted to read all the names to me. I assumed she would start oldest to youngest, but I was mistaken. She started with the most important person, herself, and went youngest to oldest!

Now being the youngest of such a large family, she is naturally a little spoiled. By the time she came around she was surrounded by doting siblings. Unfortunately, this has led to a few issues that we need to work on with her, such as not always putting herself first. However, the more I though about it, the more I realized that this is something most of us do whether we are the youngest in our family or not.

There are not too many humans who would naturally put others before themselves without first being taught the concept. Our natural tendency is to look out for number one. Even when we know better, it is sometimes hard to put others first, especially when that other is someone we don’t even particularly like.

Our culture screams at us to focus on ourselves. We are told we are worth it and we deserve it. We chase “likes” and followers. We post selfies. This is why Jesus’ teaching on the subject can seem so startling. Not only is His teaching contrary to our nature, it is counter-cultural as well.

It turns out that this is nothing new, the culture of Jesus’ day had the same problems going on, just with less technology. In a conversation with His disciples Jesus revealed how they needed to live, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42-45)

This may be a difficult teaching for some of us, my daughter included. However, when we follow Jesus’ advice there are unexpected results. We actually can find joy in serving others and more peace. Another time when He was teaching He also said, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Talk about a surprising, counter-cultural result!

Nowhere is this truer than with children. As soon as one of my kids perceives the slightest injustice to themselves, they want to make sure that at least one of their siblings is just as miserable.

This mostly centers around chores and responsibilities at home. This can include anything from doing the dishes to doing schoolwork. The questions come fast and furious:

“Why doesn’t he have to do the dishes?”

“Why isn’t she doing math?”

“Why do I have to sweep?”

Evidently they want their siblings to share in the misery of the moment. What actually happens, though, is they make us as parents miserable!

I have lost count of the number of times that I have explained that everyone has their own chores/homework to do, that nobody has to do more than anyone else, and that if they would just do it when it is time to do it, they would be done quickly.

Hopefully someday soon, my younger children will figure all of this out just like their older siblings have (for the most part) and quickly take care of their responsibilities and move on with other things that are more enjoyable. Maybe they will even find it in themselves to help each other with chores and complete them even quicker.

I am not sure what it is in human nature that makes us feel just a little bit better to know someone else is suffering too. This is definitely not one of our finer qualities! When we can show sympathy and even empathy, it is so much better. In a way, Jesus while here in human form, turned this tendency on its head.

Instead of requiring us to each go through the suffering and punishment of the cross that we all deserve, He put Himself in our places. He did warn us that there would be tough things to go through, but He promised to always be with us even then. Jesus finds absolutely no pleasure in our suffering. Instead, Jesus wants to free us from our pain and eventually, if we believe in Him and allow Him to forgive us, He will welcome us to a place where, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4