I want to get the most out of this difficult experience. To suck the marrow out. Go past the surface, past the heart of the matter even, to where the life blood is created. For that is what I need, a transfusion. The only way to change, Jesus’ blood for mine. Oh God, don’t let me miss it, the change You are doing in me. Don’t let me heal over too quickly, leaving something ugly festering underneath.
Down to the marrow, the root of my pain. There is pain there, but also strength. The marrow of a bone holds all the nourishment. God are You going to nourish me on my pain? Only You could do something like that, taking darkness and creating light out of it.
Can I be brave enough to ask You to take me all the way down, down to the scariest places of my soul? To take me to a place of real healing.
I don’t know what’s in there, but You do God. You know the anemia my faulty marrow has created in my life. Me living a thin existence when all the while Jesus is waiting, holding out the rich cup of His blood of the covenant He made with me.
Can I reach out with a shaky hand, take and drink?
“For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, took bread, and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, ‘This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.’ In the same way, after supper He took the cup, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this whenever you drink it, in remembrance of Me.’ For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes.” I Corinthians 11:23-26